Brianna Mariah Lopez

Love, nothing but love....

It breaks my heart to even imagine what you had to endure each day of your precious life. Sweet girl, you did nothing at all to deserve the cruel, heartless and overwhelming pain that you did. Had I been near, your beautiful self would still be with us today and I likely would be where those horrible monstors are for showing them the fate they bestowed upon you. It would be worth it, if it meant your life would be saved.

Sweet beautiful girl, you would be the same age as my girl this year. Although you're not here with us in person, you have left an imprint on many of our hearts that will last a lifetime. You're safe now our sweet beautiful girl. Spread those wings and fly high, knowimg that you are loved. So very much loved our sweet angel up above.

 

I thought for the longest time that it was me that never stopped screaming from the horror and the pain of it all, but I think now that part of me heard you. I can't begin to imagine how many of us share similar stories, or how the world can remain deaf and blind till it's too late.

I'm so sorry for what you endured. So sorry that you never knew love, or comfort, or hope.

I'm so sorry that people think "family" means something, or that just anybody has the right to decide a child's fate... just because they couldn't keep their legs crossed or think having a child is like owning a pet.

I don't know if I'm sorry or greatful you only had to live through five months of that hell, I wish you could have been saved, I wish one person who knew you when you were alive had had the forethought to check on a new mother and her infant. I wish the world were less concerned with the right of a parent than the life of a child.

You need to know that you were perfect. You were such a good girl, you didn't do aything wrong, ever. And that's not the way that life was supposed to be for you.

So thank you. Thank you for braving this life, for fighting so hard, for lasting so long in such horror. You came to us durring a time where we really just began talking about these things, and in doing so you became every story that was never told.

No one can hide from what was done to you. They can't make excuses or try to gloss it over. You were an infant, utterly dependant, innocent... you were everything in this world that calls to the deepest part of a feeling human's soul.

Your life and your death sends a message people need to learn to understand: the world has to stop waiting for their children to grow up enough to ask for help. Because for you, for me, and countless others...

Our hell begins at conception.

I've only just begun to know you, but I've been reaching towards you since before you were here, I enbrace you and all of us tortured children in a constant plea that's too hopeless to be a prayer

Please, somebody, anybody... save us from being born to these monsters.

I visited you on your Birthday Precious Baby Girl.Like I have every year I placed gifts that were sent to you from Countries far away. Strangers that have never met you but Love so much. Precious Princess you are Loved by so many people if all this love could've build a wall to protect you from all the evil , hatred, and pain you would still be here. But God had other plans for you he needed another rosebud in his garden. Precious Princess I will continue to Honor you Birthday's receive all those gifts people send me from around the world to place them in you grave. And pray someday we will be allowed to take that ugly cage away or let us build you a castle and make it beautiful like you and place a beautiful headstone. Precious Baby no words will ever take all that pain you suffered but you are truly Loved and forever in everyone's hearts. RIP Precious Princess and May The Perpetual light shine upon you. I will Always Love You like a Daughter.

No matter how much I try to wrap my head around how old you would have been, I still cannot believe it. Do we still call you Baby Brianna? You wouldn't be a baby now if you'd lived. Then again, if you'd lived I wouldn't be here trying to understand. It's been more than 8 years since I first read your story. I still remember the early days of grief and anger and disbelief that something like that could happen to a baby. A small child. What did you do to deserve it? Nothing. And that was the problem. You didn't deserve what happened, but it did happen to you. After that, every year on your birthday I would think about what you might have been. I think of what you should have been experiencing. First day of preschool. Preschool graduation. First day of elementary school. You'd be in High School now wouldn't you? No more than I could have pictured you as a 5 year old can I picture you as a 13 year old.

I find that all these years later, the anger and grief and disbelief has morphed into a silence in my heart for you. A sort of scared healing that doesn't cause me to think of you as much as I use to. Not because you mean any less to me, but because I have placed you in that place in my heart where all children who have suffered the same fate as you go. It's that place where I realise it happened and it is happening. I know I don't have to think of you every day to remember you. You are part of every postive thing I do every single day. You are that warmth in my heart I get every time I see people gather to remember you or do something for you. You are that person who does something in this fight against child abuse. You are here every day in small ways and big ways. Thank you for that. Thank you for easing the grief and helping me see it in such a postive light.

 

 

Happy 13^th Birthday Brianna. Your 13^th Birthday may not be celebrated in the way it should have, a party with you surrounded by friends, instead it will be celebrated in its own special way. The looking at a sunrise or sunset. Spending a moment with loved ones. Or just thinking of you today. Which ever way, I hope you feel it. I hope you know it. You are loved, Brianna.

 

And I love you, I love you, I love you.

Like never before.

Me sweet angel, please forgive me for not being there to protect you.When I saw your face i wanted to kiss you and hold you so tide, you are so innocent so sweet, you are loved by many people, be sure that these animals will get what they deserve, while you are free and happy in the hands of God. You are always in my heart, i love you somuch my little baby, happy birthday, me sweey angel