I am yet another mother, and now a grandmother, who would have been honored for the privilege of loving and caring for you Brianna. It tears my heart out to look at your beautiful battered little face. The only peace you ever knew was brought on by death, the only earthly mercy being it forever separated you from your evil and twisted abusers and allowed you to be released to God. You deserved so much and your life was so horrific. How anyone can do this to sweet, precious innocence is inconceivable. This year I became the delighted grandmother of a wonderful baby girl. Our entire family is deeply in love with her. Parents, grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. All our friends too. And our dogs. Yes even they adore her. She lights up our lives. When she is coming over or I get to go see her I feel exactly as I did when I was a child at Christmas time except more so. So excited and thrilled with anticipation. I have her adorable little face on my desktop background at work. Whenever I lock my system that precious face pops up and lifts my heart with happiness. It is a delight and honor to care for her. To nuzzle and kiss and laugh and play. To make sure she is well fed., clean and dry. To look into her eyes when she's taking a bottle, conveying to her how special and important she is. How loved. This is just from one of her adoring grandmothers. Her parents and many other family members lavish love and care on her. She is loved as all babies should be loved. Our baby is adopted. From a mother who thankfully chose to have her and chose us for her. For this I am forever grateful to her. No natural child could possibly be loved more or feel more "ours". The birth mother had other children removed from her custody, there were some issues and it terrifies me to think of what could have happened to our baby. The life she could have had. We are not perfect but we love our baby so much and will always give her the best we can. We would have loved you so much Brianna. So many families across the world would have loved you so much.
What kills my soul is that you Brianna, deserved to be loved too. You could have been adopted out. You could have a brilliant smile and the leg kicking, squirming baby delight of knowing you make everyone happy and everyone loves you. You could have never known any discomfort in your babyhood outside being ready for a bottle that was coming to you, needing a diaper change while a loved one was gathering the diaper and wipes to care for you quickly. Maybe the worst being the time you'd have learned those two new little teeth meant you couldn't chew on your fingers as zestfully as when your precious little mouth was all gums. Somebody could have been bypassing the ladies department in stores, walking fast to the baby department while thinking "To heck with something for me. I'm buying something adorable for my pretty little Brianna. Somebody could have been crouched down on their achy knees to search through the baby food for some jars of what you liked best. You could have been taken to family gatherings where close family and extended family flocked to you, everyone wanting to admire and hold you at once. Someone could have taken scads of pictures of you, capturing each wonderful stage of your life, then proudly shown everyone what an awesome baby Little Miss Brianna Mariah is. You could have been picked up and hugged and kissed dozens of times a day. You could have your family members tell you over and over to say THEIR name first till you giggled and blew raspberries at them. You could have had a Mommy and a Gammy who were so in awe of you and in love with you that they'd keep holding you after you drifted to sleep because they just could not bear to put you down. Someone could have taken you to church, where from infancy you would see pictures and hear songs that taught you God loves you. You know that now baby girl. You are with the Father who loves you and will keep you safe forever. With the Holy Mother who will hold you so close, so gently and lovingly in her arms. I hope droves of angels surround you. I hope my MawMaw, Nanny, Aunt Gertie and other family angels get to hold you, play with you, make you happy. I hope Nanny might maybe stick her false teeth out at you and make a silly face because that WILL make a tiny girl giggle so hard and beg her to do it again. I hope MawMaw sits and rocks you while humming hymns. I believe she was an angel even when she was here on earth. They were so good at caring and would love to share with you. Oh, and Aunt Betty too. She was always so cool and so good at caring for her family and others. If babies can be taken fishing in heaven, she's the right gal for you. When I come home to heaven of course I want to see my family angels. And I want to see you. One of the first things I want to ask God is "Can I hold this precious baby please Father"? Rest in peace, love happiness and eternal safety sweetheart. Along with so many others, I love you Brianna. So very many of us still here on earth have made very special places in our hearts just for you. We just wish one of the many of us posting here could have loved you while you were here and kept you safe.